What I did today

I slept all day today. I didn’t get out of bed until ten after five, in the evening. My life is reverting to my old habit of being awake during the night and asleep during the day. It’s not a healthy lifestyle. It is hard to get anything done, when you sleep all day. I did wake up once around one thirty, to go to the bathroom, but I went right back to sleep.

I don’t believe I am depressed, even if my schedule is topsy turvy. I have been missing my window of time to take my morning meds though. This means that I don’t take many at all, because I only take them in the mornings.

I had dinner at the bookstore tonight, with Mom and Sandra. We had Burger King. What else is new, Later, I visited with Tony and Laura’s family. I only got to see the twins for a quick hello, as it was their bedtime. They smiled at me but wouldn’t slap me five. They’re so beautiful. While they were being carried up to bed, they kept saying my name, which was cool. Cause I’ve never heard them say it before.

After Sophie had her shower, we played games around the table with her for awhile, one game I enjoyed especially. We had to make up lists of foods we liked using our name as an acronym. My foods were all good for you. Carrots, apples, eggplant and yams. I can’t remember what I said for “S”. Joanna, Beth’s roommate, came up with all bad foods for you. It was defiantly an ironic situation. Maybe you will meet her and than you will understand. Actually if I tell you that she is in training to run a half marathon in June you might understand.

I just finished reading your entry. As per usual, I loved it. I think about physical training the way you live it. I get in my head that I am going to be a workout machine, that I am going to make it an important part of my life. I know I need to. Just so that I can be healthy. I like you will never have a petite lithe body. I’m ok with that. I am not ok with the fact that I don’t have a healthy body.

I look at these guys online and I don’t want someone like me. I am looking for the opposite physically of myself. I want someone healthy. Who is everything I am not. One of the first questions I ask them is what body type are you attracted to. The one guy who was interested in big women, turned me off. Yet it is lying to them, when they say average, and I don’t tell them I’m not.

I can’t sit for long periods on hard chairs. These include the benches in diners and desk chairs. Even the chair in my car is kind of annoying. I know that it is caused by my weight. This didn’t stop me from eating ten chocolate chip cookies tonight though. I over heard the girl at the table behind us making fun of overeaters anon, at the diner. I really wanted to say something. Do you think I should go?